More Than Friends
by Last.one.02
Summary: One-Shot set sometime after "Fat", follows Elliot and Olivia through the changes and things they never said... When one finally confesses the feelings, is the other ready or is it too late now.


_You've been awake for hours,  
>I've been awake for days.<br>My eyes to feel like I'm asleep  
>stuck inside an empty dream.<br>Questions if this is even real,  
>a cliché way for me to feel.<br>Unfinished messages to send,  
>I told you I never want to end.<em>

Elliot walked to the squad room with bloodshot eyes, 2 coffee cups in his hand and empty expression on his face. Out of habit he placed one coffee cup on his partner's table and kept the second for himself. He threw his jacket over the chair's back and sat down. The computer's screen lit up and the bright light hurt his eyes.

"Morning," Fin said and slouched down at his desk.

"Morning," Elliot replied moodily.

"What's your problem?" Fin asked, alerted by Elliot's voice.

"Couldn't sleep," Elliot replied.

"You still think about Liv?" Fin asked, even though it was more statement than a question and both of them knew it's the truth.

"I don't get how she could dump me like that. First Kathy and now Liv…" Elliot said unhappily, helpless expression on his face when he looked at Fin.

"She needed a change," Fin proposed.

"After I told her that she's pretty much the only thing I have left," Elliot argued.

"But you told her to shoot you before. Didn't you think about Liv? Look, it's no secret that she's married to the job and we all know that this is all she has. The job and you are 2 things Liv has, for her it might have been the end," Fin reasoned.

Elliot considered what Fin said and gulped his coffee, "Do you think we'll get a new detective?" Fin asked and pointed at the empty desk, where Olivia used to sit.

"I don't know," Elliot shrugged his shoulders.

"Have you talked to her?" Fin asked.

Elliot shook his head slowly, "Only about a case," he took a deep breath, sipped the coffee and continued, "I don't know even where to start, what to tell. Besides she left, she should make the first move."

Fin nod, "But maybe she _can't_ talk to you," he suggested.

Elliot shook his head violently – Olivia had never been known as someone, who'd choose silence rather than words. She had never been shy, she has been the badass detective everybody around here respected and feared.

"You know, you can always go to see her," Fin said carefully, "Maybe you can drop off the coffee you brought for her."

"I don't bring the coffee for her," Elliot snapped, "The barista gives me the same order every morning and I don't want to correct her, because I wish it would all be a dream and she'll be here when I come in," he said furiously, angry for having those feelings – angry because he had to confess them, but most of all angry because he has a weakness and very big one, Olivia Benson is his weakness.

"Still you can go down and give her coffee, she could still be your friend despite your different work place," Fin said.

Elliot glanced at the phone and went through the drafts he had written, but never sent. He has told her so many times how he never wanted her to leave, how he always wanted her by his side. It felt nice to have a partner, who is totally in synch with him, and whose mind works like his – how they know each other by heart. He wanted to tell all of that to her, but somehow he never found the courage to send them and now he might not do that – he'll go to see her and tell her everything.

He pushed himself away from the desk, stood up and grabbed the cup he had placed on her desk before and left the squad room, passing Cragen on the way.

"What's with him?" Cragen asked Fin, still looking at Elliot, who was now pacing by the elevators.

"Nothing, he's going to see Liv," Fin said easily, "You know every morning he comes in with 2 cups of coffee and places one on Liv's desk. The cleaner must be throwing them away, because he sure as hell doesn't."

"At last, if I have to work with the grumpy-Liv's-withdrawal-Stabler, I swear I'll start drinking again just to survive," Cragen said.

"Yeah, that sounds about right. He's been even more annoying than my partner," Fin said.

Cragen nod, wished Fin good luck and descended to his office.

_I've watcheb you break yourself in two  
>and try to give me a half.<br>And I seem to wonder what it takes to work,  
>to make this last.<em>

Elliot politely knocked on the open door before entering the room, where Olivia was located. She asked him to come in, but she never looked up to confirm the identity of the intruder.

"One moment," she said, her eyes glued to the screen and fingers running furiously on the keyboard. Elliot took a step forward, placed the coffee at her table and sat down across from her, only to be disappointed, when he faced the backs of her computer screens, so he decided to stand. He gulped his coffee, which was getting cold already.

Olivia's hand moved automatically to the coffee cup, took it and sipped the warm liquid, then placed the cup back on desk and resumed her previous task, "Thanks El," she mumbled absentmindedly.

Then her hands suddenly stayed very still and her eyes widened, "Elliot?" she asked, though the question was not directed at Elliot. She moved her hand to grab a hold of the coffee, and then her eyes leaved the screen to watch him.

"Hi," Elliot said with a smile.

"Elliot," Olivia said in surprise, she was glad to be sitting down, because her legs were not stable at the moment.

"Brought you coffee, looks like you could use it," Elliot said easily, while studying her face – her eyes were red and the bags under her eyes were bigger than he remembered; she no longer wore make-up to cover up the beauty flaws she thought she had – in general she looked like she could use it, "You look like crap," he voiced his opinion.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Olivia snapped back, "I look better than you."

Elliot smiled.

"So what's new upstairs?" Olivia asked.

"Not much, everybody seem to be avoiding me since I've been getting those temporary new partners for a case, but they seem to leave every time," Elliot said truthfully, intentionally stabbing her with his words.

"I didn't want to leave, but we needed a change," Olivia said honestly, "We can't do the job, when we choose each other. That can't happen."

Elliot nod slightly, he got her reasons, but it doesn't matter that he agreed with them, "So how are you?"

"I'm fine," she said instantly, _"Well, I haven't been sleeping for 18 days, which is the last time I saw you. I sometimes cry in front of the TV, but usually in the mornings, when I remember that I no longer work with you. Sometimes the regret for unsaid words and undone actions hits me at work too. I'm miserable," _she thought, but he didn't need to hear it, after all it was _her _who _left_.

"How are you?" she asked him, wondering if he'll tell the truth.

"I'm fine too," he told a lie, if he was honest he'd tell her about the sleepless hours, the way every morning he hopes that her leaving was a bad dream, he wonders around the house just to hope to see her, sometimes at night drives past her apartment and watches the light from her window, wishing to come in, but knowing it wouldn't be right. He'd tell her about the way he respects her and cares for her, something he never has told her.

"Good," Olivia said, knowing it's a lie. Oh, she wanted to get the truth out of him, but in reality she doesn't know how it would hurt to know. Over the years she has tried to give him everything, but somehow it seems not enough.

"So how does it feel to be away from the bloody crime scenes and lying perps?" Elliot asked to lighten the mood.

"Oh, it feels so good, sometimes I miss the feeling of putting the perp away, but then I think how I get to go home at normal hours at least once a week and I've been called in on just 2 Sundays," she said, "I miss the people though."

_There she said it – she misses him._

"We miss you too," Elliot said, _I miss you_, going in his mind, feeling better than he did in the morning just by being around her.

Olivia smiled and nod, silently thanking him for saying that because for awhile she was certain that she was not much liked at the SVU these days. Even if Elliot told her a lie, it still felt nice to hear it.

Elliot looked at her and tried to rememorize her in his head, so he could picture her sitting right next to him, because even though she sat opposite to him for almost 8 years, those 18 days with no contact have been the hardest.

He has watched her for so long, he has watched her give everything to the victims and if she had anything left, she gave it to him. He knew how much he meant to her, because she was just as important to him. So Elliot willingly accepted the half of her she was willing to share, but even so he didn't know how they could be. And he knew that he was divided too – one part belonged to her and the other was his to keep.

What would it take for them to be partners again?

"You know the rain has been hard lately, I could take you home," Elliot proposed, "So you could get there without taking a taxi or getting wet," he elaborated.

"I don't know how long I'll be here," Olivia said apologizing just in case.

"No worries. Just call me, when you're leaving," Elliot said easily – he'll probably stay here way too long anyway.

Olivia nod.

His phone rang and he looked at Olivia before answering. She nod again – it was probably Cragen and they probably have another case, so Elliot had to go.

"Stabler," he replied and walked out, leaving Olivia looking after him. She kept on looking at the door, where he disappeared longer, hoping to see him again, but now is her turn to contact him… So Elliot didn't return, but Olivia sipped the now lukewarm coffee and turned her attention back to the computer and continued with her previous task.

_Only two more days,  
>to kill the mess we've made.<br>And give the lions something to hunt for.  
>Cause now the ace is played,<br>the desks are under queen of spades.  
>There's nothing left for us to hope for.<em>

That night she didn't call, neither did the next day or the day after – she picked up the phone so many times to call him, but she always hanged up before he could see it.

But today she thought about calling him, not because she missed him that much – she missed him _every _day – today she was handed a chance to go up. She was given orders from her new boss with new location to work, she had to leave Manhattan and NY in general, if she'd accept the order. If she doesn't then she'll be demoted, and that's one thing she doesn't want.

She has 2 days to accept or reject.

So she finally put down the papers and picked up her phone, confidently she dialed his number again, but this time let it ring, anticipating his answer. Finally he did.

"_Stabler,"_ he said.

"Hey, it's Liv," she said.

"_Hey. What's up?" _he asked like it was just another day.

"Well, I was thinking about accepting your offer about that ride you offered," she said slowly.

"_Oh, you ready to go now?"_ he asked neutrally.

"Sure," Olivia said and saved her work on computer.

"_Meet me by my car," _Elliot said and hang up before hearing her answer.

Both Olivia and Elliot got to his car and he started the car.

"So what caused your change of mood?" Elliot asked.

"Nothing, just wanted to see you," Olivia replied.

Elliot smiled and looked over at her, stopping the car at the red light. His fingers were randomly tapping on the wheel, just like hers was anxiously moving over her thigh.

"You are nervous," he commented and started driving again.

Olivia shook her head.

"I know you," Elliot said firmly.

Olivia smiled – he still knew her, "I have a news actually," she said.

"Hot boyfriend?" Elliot asked teasingly.

"Nope," she said and without realizing it, Elliot felt relief washing over him, "I got a job offer, promotion actually," she continued.

"You'll become the chief of computer crimes?" he joked.

"They are giving me my own team, but not at 1-6," She started.

Elliot was confused for a moment, "They send you to headquarters?" he asked, "Because that is way too far."

Olivia winced – she could only wish it was 1PP, "I've been offered a post at Miami," she said.

Elliot pressed the brakes suddenly, both of them flying forward and then coming to stop, seatbelt tightly over their bodies. Olivia looked outside to see her building – they are here.

"Miami?" Elliot asked, he wished he has a new boyfriend, he wished she was transferred to 1PP – it's not the same building, but it's still New York. He wished so hard it was one of those things, not something that would send her to the other side of the country.

"Are you accepting?" he asked harshly.

"I don't know," she replied quickly.

"You deserve it. You should take it," he said even though he felt his heart break into pieces by saying that.

"You really think so?" she asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice.

Elliot nod.

"I was hoping you'd vie me a reason to stay, but… I'll take it," Olivia said confidently.

"When are you leaving?" he asked.

"I've got 2 days to give my answer and then I'll be gone in a week or two," she said.

Elliot nod again, seemed like there was not much left to say anymore.

"Guess, this is it then," she said and opened the door.

"I wish you well," he said.

Olivia replied, wishing him the same and got out of the car. The ace is played, no more cards in back pocket left to play. Seems like there is no hope for them to make it better, guess everything is done now.

Elliot watched her leave, he waited for the light in her apartment and he watched her move around. Finally he drove away. Yeah, this is the end now. Guess those hours awake will become days and months now.

_And I'd run to the furthest place I need to,  
>just to hear love.<br>Cause I need to find out  
>how it feels to be broken in two hearts.<br>Ohh._

Olivia was in the middle of packing, when her phone rang and his name flashed on the screen. She answered it only to learn that he was by her door, and when she opened it, her blouse still in her hand, she discovered him standing there, dressed in casual jeans and grey long sleeved t-shirt with black leather jacket. He had not come from the precinct.

"How's packing?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and let him come in.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

"You told me to go," she said.

Elliot looked at the boxes all over her apartment and let his hand ran over one half packed box in front of him, peeking inside he saw clothes. The apartment looked cold and empty now, but _he _told her to go.

"Just because I told you that you deserve it doesn't mean that I want you to go," Elliot confessed.

"I have no reason to stay," she said coldly, stabbing him, though it was not intentional.

"Yeah," he agreed sadly.

"Elliot, you don't get it. You've had it all, while I have nothing. I need to do this, so I can hear love finally. Manhattan is haunted by my mother, every failure in my life and you… I need to find out, what it feels to feel the love so deep and to be loved," Olivia said in frustration and threw the clothing item from her hand to the floor.

"I've been here all this time, all your failed relationships and after all of this I'm still here. Don't you see it? Don't you feel it? Don't you feel all the things I feel inside, the feelings so strong and controlling everything I do… Tell me you don't know what I'm talking about," he said raising his voice, bringing the tension to it's high.

"Elliot…" she said weakly, lost in words.

"You don't need to run to the furthest place you know to feel love, when I'm right here. Liv, I'm right here, always," he said and closed the distance.

Olivia nod, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. How long has she wished to hear those words? How long has she dreamt about this happening? And now, when she finally hears the words out loud, she feels overwhelmed, but weirdly she feels nothing towards him now, not anymore – she is no longer in love with her partner. She felt safe and protected in his embrace, she felt the warmth she has missed all of her life.

But the feeling was not what she expected. Now, long years after fighting those feeling and finally being able to overcome them, finally she is free and now he tries to turn her world around.

"I don't know what to say," she said after a pause.

"Just say that you feel the same, because I know you do," Elliot pleaded.

"I wish I could," she said and he suddenly pulled away, "I did, for so many years, but I'm finally okay now. I don't feel that pain anymore. I feel nothing and it's better than the constant pain and yearning I felt for so many years."

Elliot looked at her in shock, he was in shock. His face was turning into red, embarrassment took over and he wanted to fall into the ground and never come out again. He never wanted to leave her, he always wanted her… And he could have had her if he had said anything sooner. If he had opened her mouth one of those many times before.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I should go."

"Elliot…" Olivia started, but words betrayed her once again.

"No it's okay, I'm going so you can finish packing," he said and left.

Olivia stood there in one place, looking after him and thinking what just happened. She was leaving in 2 days… And now she really had nothing left here anymore.

_And do you think that I've run out on you now?  
>Cause I still yearn, if we pretend.<br>Can we go back to where broken things only needed plasters to mend._

Her plane landed in Miami 14 hours ago and she was nicely settled in her new apartment. She didn't talk to Elliot again, Fin, Cragen, Munch and Casey were all in airport sending her off, but Elliot wasn't there and she doesn't blame him. They didn't leave at good note the last time they met.

Maybe he'd think that she ran away from him, maybe he'd think that all Computer Crimes and everything is because of him. Maybe it is, but she couldn't stay with him after Gitano. After he _blamed her_ for the death of a little boy and asked _her to kill him. _She couldn't stay there to face his anger and deal with his suicidal actions. She had to get away.

He asked her to kill him.

Selfishly asked her to take away the only rock she has ever known, the first person to stood up for her... The first person she called her friend and truly meant it. She just couldn't.

She wondered if he still misses her, because she might miss him. She missed him if she closed her eyes and pretend for a moment that Gitano never happened. She pretends that all too well, and that's the reason she had to leave. This time band aid won't fix them, this time it's not enough. She would mourn the loss of Elliot, but she wouldn't mourn the loss of her job, avenging her mother, those long days and weekend jobs. She wouldn't do that, but she did mourn for the loss of a friend – the greatest loss of all. She'd mourn the loss of a good friend and her solid ground.

And how she wished all of the pain could be fixed by plasters. But growing up is a trap, and she knows that now more than ever.

_Let's stay awake for hours,  
>just like we did back then.<br>When you draw pictures on my hand  
>in a permanent pen.<br>We watch the sun go down,  
>but never feel the end.<br>Cause I know the sun and darkness are  
>more than friends.<em>

Elliot looked at the photo taken of her and Olivia during one of their first surveillance missions, it was Munch, who took it and later showed to both of them, giving them his blessing. He said how this partnership will become something worth awhile and how it'll be something special. He remembers Munch's words even so many years later and he remembers the long night spent in the cold squad car.

_Elliot got back to the car and handed Olivia yet another cup of coffee. She gladly accepted it and thanked him politely, her body shivering just like he was. It was freezing outside._

"_We have to stay awake for so long," she complained._

"_The beauty of being a detective," Elliot said._

_She laughed and poked his shoulder._

"_You'll grow to love the nights, when we'll never fall asleep and catch the perp. You'll love the feeling afterwards," he said easily._

"_I know. You know I've always been more of an owl than morning person. There's something special about the nights," Olivia said._

"_The peace and quiet, when everybody is asleep but you're keeping an watchful eye over the city. It's magical and wonderful," he agreed._

_Olivia placed her cup in holder and grabbed her notebook and pen she found to mark another person entering the loft they were watching. _

"_That would be guy number 7," Elliot commented._

"_And we've been here for 3 hours," Olivia said looking at her watch, "It's gonna be a long night."_

"_It'll be fun. We'll get to know each other better. Look, I already know how you drink coffee and your knee shakes, all the time," Elliot said, earning another poke from Olivia._

"_And I know that you're annoying as hell," she said, and crossed her eyes._

_Elliot played to be hurt, and put his hand on her thigh, "Stop with the shaking, it's annoying, not me," he said._

_Olivia glared at him, but grabbed his hand before he could remove it. She took the top off of her pen and held it between her teeth while she rolled Elliot's shirt sleeve up along with the jacket._

"_What are you doing?" he asked out of curiosity._

"_Punishment for telling me I'm annoying," she deadpanned._

_Elliot looked in horror for a moment, but when she took the pen and started running it along his skin, he relaxed, but kept on looking downwards to see what she's doing, though he couldn't see much. _

"_Another one is going," Elliot said, distracting him._

_Olivia threw her notepad to him, "You do some work now, I'm busy," she ordered._

"_You know I outrank you?" Elliot asked, with no real intention to pull rank on his partner._

_She glared at him, "I'll tell Kathy you tried to sleep with me," she deadpanned._

"_Kathy would never believe that," Elliot said confidently, knowing she was joking._

"_Wanna try?" Olivia asked and raised her eyebrow with a smug look on her face._

"_I'll pass," Elliot said, momentarily scared, "You have my good hand, I can't write with my left."_

_Olivia laughed, "Nice try. Look at this as an opportunity to learn," she suggested and focused back on his hand and her drawing._

_Elliot shook his head – yeah, it's gonna be a hell of a ride for the two of them, but he could never have seen the full extent of their partnership and all the twists future held for them._

_The car stayed silent with Elliot occasionally trying to write down people entering with description with his left hand and Olivia kept on drawing on his right. They didn't exchange words or looks, they just sat there in comfortable silence, trying to make this surveillance mission interesting._

"_Oh, and the Sun is going down again," Olivia complained._

"_I'll be your Sun," Elliot said and had a bright smile on his face._

"_I'll be the darkness taking over control," she said and grabbed the notepad from Elliot, who protested loudly._

"_First my hand, now my notebook, what's next?" he complained._

"_You know what's next," she smirked._

_Subconsciously Elliot moved his legs tighter together to protect his pride._

"_Not interested," she joked._

_Elliot glared at her._

_Olivia made final moved on his hand, looked over at her handiwork and then let go of his hand, "All done," she announced._

_Elliot was eager to remove his hand and made a move to get as close to the door as possible. Olivia laughed at the other side of the car, "I'm not that scary," she said and rolled her eyes._

"_Let me be the judge of that," he protected himself._

_Olivia laughed again and pointed at his hand. Elliot put it closer to the window and read what she had drawn there. There was a sun and a car where she had written their names. On the side it read, Elliot – The Grumpy Sun and Olivia – The Sweet Darkness. And underneath there was a simple line. _Cause I know the Sun and darkness are more than just we'll never be just friends.

_He finished and glared at her, "Do you like it?" Olivia asked innocently._

"_Love it," he mumbled, "Grumpy Sun, my ass. You know Benson, you are a brave little woman and you don't know what you're messing with."_

"_But I bet I'll find that out soon enough," she said._

_Elliot nod with certainty, raising his eyebrows and looking at her suggestively, trying to think about way to get back to her._

_Olivia took her forgotten coffee and raised it up, "Here's to you my Sun," she said with a bright smile._

"_And here's to you my Sweet Darkness," he said mimicking her._

_They clicked their cups together._

"_And here's to our partnership that will be more than friends," Olivia toasted._

"_I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Elliot said._

_Olivia burst out laughing, "Casablanca, seriously?" Olivia referred to his movie quote._

"_Hey, I think it's one of the best movie ever made," he protected himself._

"_Wouldn't have picked you for the romantic guy," she teased._

"_Just drink your coffee," he said trying to shut the topic._

_Both of them sipped the brown liquid trying to hold back laugh._

"_Just for the record, it's one of my favorites too," she said and winked._

_Now it was Elliot's turn to laugh._

"_You know they call you Badass Benson and I've become to like the term. But it would be great to tell them about your warm and tender romantic soul to the guys," he threatened._

"_Then I'll show you Badass," she said, familiar with the nickname, "Besides I'm sure they would be just as interested in your romantic side."_

"_So this stays in this car?" Elliot asked._

"_Agreed," she said with a nod._

"_So tell me, Olivia, do you like Gone with the Wind too, because that is one hell of a good movie?" he asked._

"_Absolutely," Olivia said with bright smile._

_They went on to discuss movies they both liked for different reasons and in the end the morning came too fast._

Olivia smiled at the memory of their playful and teasing night in car. How quickly they broke the ice between them. Even though through the time they didn't always agree and she was wrong about so many things, she was right about one thing – Elliot was never just a friend. He has always been much more.

She looked through the window to see the Sun setting over her new home and wondered if he saw it too.

"I miss you El," she whispered.

Elliot kept on staring at the Sun and smiled at the memory of their easiness around each other. She looked through the window to see the Sun setting over her new home and wondered if he saw it too.

Elliot kept on staring at the Sun and smiled at the memory of their easiness around each other. Yeah, he is the Grumpy Sun and she is the Sweet Darkness.

"I love you, Liv," he said to himself.

Together or not, they won't be forgotten and if it was meant to be, then they'll be together again.

_Cause I know the Sun and darkness are  
>more than just friends.<em>

**AN: Hope you liked it :) .**

**The song is More Than Friends - Gabrielle Aplin**


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